I lost my hat at school. I looked in the box at the office and I found it at the bottom. I was happy and I took it home.
The box outside the office has been at our school longer than any of the teachers. At the very bottom, under forty-three odd socks, I found a faded hat with a name tag: 'Grace Ellis, Year 5'. Grace Ellis is my mum.
I climbed to the top of a hill and the view was really different. I could see houses, trees and cars. It was very beautiful and I felt happy.
From the top of the hill, my street looks like a sentence, and our house is the full stop at the end. I can see Mrs Bui's lemon tree, the gap in the fence where Jarrah's dog escapes, and the roof I live under. From up here, our arguments about whose turn it is to walk the dog look very small.
两个版本都把“a different view”理解为山顶的风景。第一版只列出看到了什么。第二版把风景变成一个想法:从高处看家,改变了作者对家的感受。新的风景加上新的视角,这种双重含义正是阅卷老师看重的新意。
讲解示例 3
‘What we leave behind.’
‘What we leave behind.’
We should not leave rubbish behind at the beach because it is bad for the environment. Animals can eat it and get sick. Everyone should take their rubbish home.
Footprints, a sandcastle, a forgotten bucket: the beach keeps everything for one tide, then washes it away. But some things the sea can't wash away. A bottle cap someone dropped years ago might still be out there, travelling. I wonder which of the things we leave behind will stay, and which ones will matter.