Vocabulary and sentences means exact words and varied sentences, what the handbook calls apt, expressive and fluent language. Children in Year 5 now handwrite it on 6 March 2027 in Perth, Bunbury and Albany.
Each example keeps the same scene and changes the words and the sentence shapes. Each shows the "before", the "after" and why the change works. Read them together and point to the words in the "after" your child can see or hear.
Worked explanation 1
‘The train station at peak hour.’
‘The train station at peak hour.’
The station was very busy and noisy. There were lots of people and lots of trains. It was really good to watch.
At half past five the station is roaring. Trains squeal into the platform, doors sigh open, and a river of people pours up the stairs, every one of them in a hurry. In the middle of it all, a busker plays the same three cheerful notes on a trumpet.
The first version uses vague words ('very', 'lots of', 'really good') that could describe any place. The second chooses exact nouns and strong verbs ('roaring', 'squeal', 'pours') and brings in sound and movement. Specific, expressive words are what markers mean by appropriate and expressive language.
Worked explanation 2
‘Almost there.’
‘Almost there.’
I was riding my bike up the hill. It was very steep. My legs were tired. I kept going. I got to the top. I was happy.
The hill was steeper than it looked from the bottom, and halfway up my legs started arguing with me. Stop. Keep going. Stop. I stood on the pedals, counted every letterbox, and then, all of a sudden, there was nothing left to climb.
The first version is six short sentences in the same pattern, so it sounds like a list. The second mixes a long sentence, very short ones for the tired legs, and a final sentence that builds to the top. Varying sentence length to match the feeling is what markers call fluency.
Worked explanation 3
‘The house was quiet.’
‘The house was quiet.’
The house was as quiet as a mouse. It was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. Everyone was asleep and it was completely silent.
The house was quiet in the way it only is at five in the morning. The fridge hummed to itself. The clock in the hall clicked its tongue at every second. Even the dog was asleep, one ear inside out, snoring softly through her nose.
The first version stacks ready-made phrases ('quiet as a mouse', 'hear a pin drop'), so nothing feels real. The second notices small sounds that only stand out in silence, and gives the fridge and clock a little personality. Fresh images in place of tired phrases (clichés) are what make language expressive.
How should my child approach it?
Choose the word that fits, not the longest one. Language closes the handbook's list of criteria, and "apt" comes first in it: organisation and coherence; a distinctive voice and tone; and language that is apt, expressive and fluent. The criteria before it cover the prompt and the ideas.
Expressive doesn't mean long. We've turned the criterion into moves your child can make while writing.
Hunt the empty words
Circle 'very', 'really', 'lots of' and 'nice', then replace each with something the reader can see, hear or feel.
Make the verbs work
A strong verb, such as 'squeal' or 'pours', can do the job of a weak verb plus an adjective.
Vary sentence length
Mix long and short sentences. Short ones slow the reader down at the moments that matter, like tired legs on a hill.
Replace tired phrases
'Quiet as a mouse' has been used too often to feel real. Ask what this particular quiet sounds like.
The slip to check for is a word that could describe any place or moment. Underline those in your child's piece first, then check the sentence shapes and any borrowed phrases.
Vague words. "Very busy", "lots of people" and "really good" could describe any place, as the station example shows.
Sentences of one shape. In the first version of the hill example, short sentences in the same pattern, one after another, read like a list.
Ready-made phrases. Clichés like "hear a pin drop" make the quiet house feel borrowed rather than noticed.
How can we practise it at home?
The examples show the swaps on someone else's sentences. Practice test 1 shows whether your child makes them in their own piece, with 25 minutes and a prompt they haven't seen. It's free, with the writing test included.
On the day, the piece comes right after Reading Comprehension. Most of the word practice can happen away from the desk:
Play "better verb": one of you says a plain sentence, the other improves the verb.
Sit somewhere ordinary for a few minutes, list the sounds your child hears, then use two in a paragraph.
Read a paragraph from a good book aloud and spot its long and short sentences together.
Ban one empty word for a week, such as "really", and see what replaces it.
